Skip to main content

How to get started:

Feel like you’re at a crossroads? Ellevate 101 introduces you to the community that can give you a career kickstart.

We’ll walk you through some light intros and give you space to connect about shared career experiences. You’ll also learn how to use your Ellevate program to continuously make moves towards success at work.

Our next live welcome session is .

Register here for your chance to get started

4 women lined up supporting each other

Release Yourself From What is Holding You Back

Release Yourself From What is Holding You Back

What isn't serving you?

We are all holding onto things that no longer serve us. Some of them are small, like the pile of mail you haven’t completely gone through or the dress that no longer fits you. Some things are larger, like the relationships that are bringing you down.

Regardless of the size of the item, it is taking energy from us. You may find yourself worrying about it often, or it might just be an undercurrent that you don’t notice anymore because you have gotten completely used to it. It is keeping you locked up. Unable to put the energy where you want your life to go.

[Related: Managing Internal Distractions: A Skeptic's Conversion to Mindfulness]

You have a choice. You can continue to hold onto these items that aren’t serving you and keep yourself stuck. Or you can choose to take a look at them and let them go.

If you choose to let them go, start with taking a look at some of the common things you could be holding onto and see where you can start. Here’s a few ideas of where to look:

  1. What regrets do you have about things you have done or haven't done?
  2. What friendships are toxic and bring you down instead of supporting you?
  3. What are you angry about that has been lingering for days, weeks, years?
  4. What grudges are you holding onto?
  5. Is your romantic relationship healthy or toxic?
  6. Are you afraid to fail?
  7. Is your definition of success yours or someone else's (your parents', maybe?)?
  8. Fill in the blank of: "I will be happy when..."
  9. What are you trying to control that isn't controllable?
  10. Are you afraid to succeed?

Overwhelmed by your answers?

[Related: Betrayed at Work? Here's How to Move Forward in Your Career.]

Start by picking the one that hit you the hardest. The one that made your whole body react. Your shoulders clutched, your chest constricted, you felt sick to your stomach thinking about it, and your mind started racing.

Start with this one first.

Give yourself some space this month to explore the question and your answer to it. Pick a time and day of the week to go deep for 30 minutes. Ask yourself questions like:

  • What impact has holding onto this had on your life?
  • What has it stopped you from doing?
  • How will you acknowledge the experience and the gift it has given you?
  • What have you learned?
  • What will letting this go give you?
  • Are you willing to let it go?
  • What will you do to let it go?

Finally, take action to let it go and see what happens.

After you have found yourself released from one, keep going through the list and take things one at a time. Release what isn’t serving you and regain your energy and life.

[Related: Own Your Own Will]


Jamie Martin is a life and leadership coach who helps women who have been going and going and going for so long that they feel like they've lost themselves. She helps her clients give themselves permission to put themselves first, create a plan, and go after their dreams.

Have more questions? Follow up with the expert herself.