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The Secret to Cultivating Resilience

The Secret to Cultivating Resilience

As we are transitioning into the back to school and busy seasons, we need to step up our game to keep up with the faster pace, fuller schedules, and additional demands. Plus, we are trying to rescue what’s left of 2020.

Yet, we are going into the season already exhausted, depleted, and burnt out. Our surge capacity lasted only so long… Now we have to recharge ourselves to beat this draggy feeling and to turn this thing around. The key is in cultivating resilience.

I’m in love with the word "cultivate." We can use it for anything we are working on, and it’s gentle, but yet powerful and sturdy. As I participate in all the things in my life, I hear the struggle people are having with their energy, mood, and wellbeing. What is troubling is that they are still focusing on what is happening out there, where we have no control. Where we end up feeling even more zapped.

[Related: Dwell in the Midst of Infinite Abundance]

The key is to focus internally, to generate energy from within. This is how we cultivate resilience. And the secret to cultivating resilience is taking charge of the flow of our day – owning our day. This is how we generate loads of energy, larger capacity, and broader bandwidth. Trust me, I’ve been called the Energizer Bunny once or twice in my life. This is how we increase our wellness and happiness.

This is how we create what we desire – our successful relationship and meaningful life, our best life.

The secret to cultivating resilience is in your daily routine. There is no magic pill to take, underground cult to join, or a move to the Tibetan Mountains required for you to feel and do great in your life. It is actually quite simple, just requires a bit of focus and intentionality.

Creating our daily routine is an opportunity and a responsibility. Most people have a very vague approach to their day - they might choose a wake-up time and get themselves to whatever commitment they have for the day, then get haphazardly sucked into that commitment for a chunk of time, to then stumble into their evening, dinner, and nighttime.

They hustle throughout the day, they lose time, they don’t get their priorities completed, and they don’t feel accomplished, at ease, happy, and connected throughout the day and as it winds down. There is no joy or inspiration.

But it absolutely doesn’t have to be this way. You can for sure have more energy, be in the flow, have inspiration, motivation, and creativity day in and day out. You can accomplish anything with gusto. You can enjoy your self, your loved ones, and your life!

Again, it just takes a little bit of focus and intentionality in designing, implementing, and honoring a daily routine that serves and supports you and your dreams.

Here are five significant factors to consider when designing and tweaking your daily routine.

[Related: You Were Created to Overcome Every Obstacle]

1) Your daily routine starts the night before!

Do a brain dump of all the noise running through your head. Think of three things you are grateful for from the day, identify your top priority for the next day, and go to sleep a bit earlier than your usual.

2) Choose an earlier time than your usual to get up in the morning.

Don’t snooze - just get up!

3) Use the extra time in the morning to enrich your self-care practice (hugely important!).

Have it include any form and combination you like of meditation practice, exercise, journaling, and learning. It doesn’t have to take long and create stress to get this in. Any investment in yourself pays huge dividends. This is the key - you have to invest in yourself!

4) Go into the rest of the day with the intention to stay focused and stick with your plan/routine.

Plan out your days to include focus time to work on your priority, transition, and margin times to flow with ease and stay present and connected to yourself and others. Bio/physical aspects need time – including having nutritious foods following from your diet choice, and mindfully transitioning into evening time.

5) Have an enriching evening routine.

This will help tend to your personal life and intentionally wrap up the day.

Each of these items can be as rich as you’d like them to be. The key is to keep the framework simple yet strong, and to work it with focus and intentionality. You can add wellness, connection and success habits in there to flow with ease and create the results you want.

If you do this, there is no way that you won’t feel well and increase your resilience. Get working it, get cultivating!

Assignment: Review how you are currently doing your days and identify your weak points. Select the area that zaps you the most or doesn’t support you the best and focus on rehabilitating and sprucing up this area. Go all-in, change that thing up! This can be a bit unsettling at first, but pull off the band-aid and commit to making a change. Hang in there and you’ll soon be seeing amazing results!

Hey, I say you fully go for it. What are you waiting for to create your best life? You can do it now!

Happy cultivating!

[Related: 3 Myths About Confidence That Stop Women From Being Heard]


Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples. She is the creator of the MetroRelationship™ philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy™ that help couples succeed at their relationship and their life. To stay connected with her and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with personal development and relationship enrichment insights and strategies, visit:

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