Stop Holding Back and Attract Clients that Love You

“Trust your gut,” they say. Whenever I hear this advice, my mind starts to wander. Really, you want me to entrust this really big decision to the piece of leftover birthday cake I ate for lunch?

No, I know. What they mean is that we should look for answers within and let our past experiences guide us. But what if your past experiences would lead you in the wrong direction? What if your whole life people have been telling you to “tone it down?” That you’re “too much?”

Maybe, like Nicole Cherie Barker, you’d be done trusting your gut. For the past two years, she has been running a successful coaching business where she teaches women how to attract “unicorn” clients. And she’ll tell you with pride she has “broken every rule in the book,” which has taught her one thing: Be unapologetically you.

What are you choosing to be?

Maybe you’re now defiantly thinking:

I am being unapologetically me. So where are my unicorn clients?

You’ve worked hard to create an authentic personal brand. But perhaps this is a problem. Should you have to work so hard to let clients know who you are?

As Nicole says:

If you’re deliberately crafting a brand, you’re holding back. You’re only showing people what you think they want to see.

Still skeptical? Answer these questions (honestly):

• Are you reserved with your opinions on social media and in your other content?
• Do you ever worry that you’ll be “too much?”
• Do you hide behind cliches and platitudes?
• Do you have a fear of being seen or having your opinions challenged?
• Can you take pleasure in your own ideas without constantly judging yourself?
• Do you find yourself shrinking and trying to hide your flaws?

Remember, like a beautiful piece of wood, your flaws make you more interesting. If you’re spending one iota of energy trying to be something you’re not, it’s wasted energy. As Nicole says:

That’s energy you could be putting into engaging with and cultivating your unicorn clients.

Plus, your ideal clients will see right through the smoke and mirrors. So if you’re ready to be more you, take Nicole’s below advice to heart.

[Related: Drop the F Word...to Be More Successful]

What do you believe and why?

If you’ve discovered you’ve been hiding significant pieces of you, and your “authentic” brand doesn’t feel so authentic anymore, there’s no need to panic. Instead, go back to what you believe and get grounded.

Nicole suggests that you make a list of everything you believe to your core. Take your time with this, because when you do this right, it will change everything. Don’t shy away from controversial or disruptive beliefs. Think about how you might defend those beliefs if someone pressed you. Not sure you could defend a belief? It might be time to cut it from your list.

Once you have your list of core beliefs, use them to find your true believers. Create a series of social media posts or a whole manifesto, if you like, and share your core beliefs. Those who engage with you, and especially those who have your back when the heat is on, are your unicorn clients.

Nicole puts it this way:

I’m telling you. When you lay it all out there on the line, it’s like a magnet for the people who will fill your pockets and your soul.

[Related: How to Hold a Passionate, Contrarian Viewpoint at Work – Without Losing Your Job]

What uncomfortable conversations are you avoiding?

Also, to be unapologetically you, you need to take control of your discomfort. Discomfort is a sign that it’s time to make a decision.

Think about the last time you felt uncomfortable. What was happening in that moment? Who was involved? What topics did you discuss? What actions were you encouraged to take?

Now think about what you wish you could have done differently. And then decide: Will I put myself in this position again or will I avoid it altogether? If you choose to be present in that situation and to have the uncomfortable conversation, prepare yourself to show up unapologetically.

As Nicole says:

You may find that the next time people respond differently to you. You may be met with more respect. It’s a wonderful feeling. Take a moment to savor it.

[Related: Working With People You Don't Like]

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Victoria Kennedy is the CEO of Atman Real Estate and is currently working on building her PR firm, Victorious PR.

Nicole Cherie Barker, CEO of Wonder Women Client Attraction, has been featured on Good Morning Italia and Good Morning Sacramento. She has helped thousands of women attract their unicorn clients with ease without cold outreach. Learn her client attraction secrets by joining her free group here. No mean girls allowed!