End-of-Year: Closure, Clearance, and Celebration
Yes, 2020 has been challenging. Yes, 2021 seems to want to start on a rough foot also. But we don’t have to let it! It is our job to create our best life regardless of what is happening out there, to the best of our ability.
Today’s topic is the second step in putting a bow on things and launching into the new year with pizzaz. I’ll cover how to do closure, clearance, and celebration for paving the path for the new year.
In the last article I covered decluttering and minimalism to lay the groundwork for setting up the new year right. That allowed us to create wiggle room for maneuvering and being. It created space for new flow, new energy, and new creations.
Before we fill up our new wonderful space again with any kind of stuff, it behooves us to align with our desires and purpose so we lean the ladder against the right wall. And, we have to be in the right frame of mind to do that. Today’s topic is about getting in the right frame of mind.
We have to:
- Close and wrap unfinished business.
- Clear and let go of what’s already passed.
- Celebrate and acknowledge our efforts, accomplishments, and awesomeness.
When we ready ourselves and take the time to pave the right path is when we have an easier journey.
Our journey has in it exactly what it’s supposed to have – the gifts, the loved ones, the connections, the resources, the challenges, and all the rest of it. It is all for us. We signed up for this human experience to have a full human experience.
So, let’s do that. Let’s make sure we don’t miss what’s under our noses and don’t live our life by default just banging around.
When we intentionally show up to our life is when we are able to create an all-around abundant life. End-of-year Step 2 helps us get in the right frame of mind, in our right mind, to set and pursue the right intentions for the life we want.
We have to close and wrap unfinished business.
This can refer to different things for each of us, depending on what is happening in our lives. It can range from finally choosing a wedding date, to putting our house on the market, to getting a full medical check-up, to closing the deal, to wrapping up projects, to addressing childhood wounds or resentments.
It’s important to identify for yourself what is taking up the most space, time, energy, and other resources and making a commitment to finally addressing this. Get the monkey off your back!
The best way to do that is to pay attention to the first thing that came up for you as you read the above. Or, to get quiet and ask yourself what needs closure. Pay attention to what comes up for you. Don’t question it; whatever comes up needs to get addressed if you are to make headways in creating the relationship and life you want.
Make a wrap-up plan to address this – completing the project, having the tough conversation, setting more effective boundaries, taking a specific action, and so forth. Crank it baby!
We have to clear and let go of what’s already passed or is keeping us stuck.
This is challenging, as a lot of feelings are tied up with this one. And the things to let go of can take on any flavor. They can range from feeling angry at how we were raised, feeling disappointed or frustrated at not getting a new job, feeling jealous about the attention someone else is getting, feeling envious of somebody else’s successes, feeling resentment for being passed over for a promotion, feeling devastation or grief over a loss, and so on.
All this angst is heavy. It is imperative that we clear the air and let go to allow for lightness, flow, and ease.
The best way to do this is to select the thing that keeps running in your mind and torturing you. If you have a running script riddled with negativity, lack, and heaviness, you are probably not feeling very well. And, you are probably not doing very well. This will show up in your health, relationship, finances, and the rest of your life. Do a letting go process or ritual to let go.
Write a goodbye letter about the situation (not be sent to anyone), really fleshing out your feelings and addressing the grievance. This is an empowering way to get it out of your system and externalize it. Make sure you cover everything that’s bothering you and then close it with understanding for it, compassion for yourself, and a gesture to release your grip on it.
We have to celebrate and acknowledge our efforts, accomplishments, and awesomeness.
Yay, finally on to the good one! This is the one that, even though it’s wonderful, we still take for granted. It is so important to validate ourselves, to recognize our contributions, to acknowledge our efforts, investment, and dedication, to celebrate our accomplishments, and to own our awesomeness.
But do we do it? No. We are really good at checking things off our list and moving on. We are really good at being humble. We are really good at not taking credit. We are really good at minimizing our efforts and contributions. We are really good at putting ourselves down, looking for the flaws and what needs improvement. We are really good at using our lack filter and honoring our negativity bias. Being good at these things is not good!
The best gift we can give ourselves, our loved ones, and the world at large, is to turn this on its head. So, the best approach is to target that negativity bias, lack mentality, and self-deprecating mindset.
It really is time to stop this. It is time to love on yourself. Make a "love myself" list of all that you weathered this year, all that you accomplished, all the ways that you stretched, learned, and showed up with the best self you could muster. Delight in the awesomeness. Give yourself a pat on the back!
When you start tackling these processes, you’ll automatically start feeling a shift. It might feel very uncomfortable at first, as you’ll be stirring stuff up. This is a worthy price to pay, I promise. Stay the course regardless of how uncomfortable you get.
You’ll soon see the light at the end of the tunnel, and you’ll start experiencing the positives of the shift. If you get too uncomfortable before the light at the end of the tunnel and it becomes challenging for you, by all means, get support. Don’t just stop and quit your transformation. We want you ready for 2021 and to keep creating your best life!
Assignment: This assignment is super powerful when done to completion, so please don’t cheat yourself:
- Create undisturbed time to play with each step.
- Create an inspiring setting to play in – bring a candle, essential oil, journal, preferred day beverage, wrap, or blanket, whatever makes you feel homey and pampered.
- Ground yourself with a mediation, prayer, deep breathing, or such.
- Start your process – go through each of the step’s processes (close - make a wrap-up plan, clear - write a goodbye letter, celebrate - make a "love myself" list).
The more you dive into your process and embody your experience, the more you’ll allow for your shift. And the more you’ll have the right frame of mind for the last step in getting ready for the new year. Give it your best and enjoy!
Our tendency to go-go-go, to jump in, to push forward, to start new things before closing old ones and such does not serve us. Let’s be intentional about our life instead. Let’s live the life we want.
[Related: Master Your Mind, Master Your Day]
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples. She is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy that help couples succeed at their relationship and their life. To stay connected with Emma and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with personal development and relationship enrichment insights and strategies, visit: www.metrorelationship.com.
Have more questions? Follow up with the expert herself.
Founder, Clinical Director & Supervisor
Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC
I've been in the mental health field in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. I'm the Founder and Director of MetroRelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected. Our Team at MetroRelationship.com helps couples create a radiant and authentic relationship and meaningful life by becoming a strong partnership and increasing their connection, intimacy, and fun. I... Continue Reading
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