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Giving Grace

Giving Grace

Whoa, it’s that time of year again! We're entering the holiday season, and with it the inevitability of being stretched thin, overwhelmed, and stressed out. Unless of course, we are intentional and proactive about having a zen holiday and year-end.

To help us cultivate our zen this month, I’ll be doing a three-part series covering grace, gratitude, and generosity. Let’s start with: giving grace.

[Related: The #1 Way to Self-Lead Fear]

First off, why grace, gratitude, and generosity? Because I wanted to write on the theme of Thanksgiving and those three characteristics capture the essence of this holiday so nicely. Plus, they are a pretty set of Gs.

All kidding aside, these characteristics came to me for myself as I’m getting ready for my holiday season. I’ve been setting intentions and being proactive about my holidays for years now, and every year I’m inspired to add more simplicity, beauty, and zen. My goal is to really be present and enjoy the simple pleasures bestowed by the magic of the season.

Giving grace thus supports this goal. I’m defining giving grace as:

  • Being easy about things.
  • Letting go of perfectionism, annoyances, control, and the like.
  • Creating space for authenticity.

We can give grace in all areas of our life – from how we treat ourselves, to how we operate in our business, to how we relate to our partner.

[Related: Implement Pleasure and Delight Habits]

APPLICATION: Identify an area where you experience a lot of frustration and pain. Then apply the three-part lens to deconstruct your experience and embrace giving grace instead.

  • Being easy about things – What do you wish in that area? What are your expectations? How do you communicate them? How do you go about making things happen or getting what you want?
  • Letting go of perfectionism, annoyances, control – How do you look at what happens in that area? Where are you aiming for perfection? What do you let annoy you? How do you impose your way?
  • Creating space for authenticity – How do you hold back, squash, your true essence? How do you silence yourself? How do you make yourself small? How do you so the same to your partner?

Now look at your answers and adjust the unrealistic expectations, rigidity, poor boundaries, and mindset. Revise your answers as to how you really want to be and show up.

When we embrace giving grace, we soon notice that life flows more smoothly, that there is less resistance, and that we feel more on the same page and connected.

Make giving grace a holiday intention this year!

Wishing you much joy, connection, and love today and always.

With much love and light!

[Related: Working Parents: Take Time and Take Stock Before Launching Into the "New Normal"]


Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT is the Founder and Director of Metropolitan Marriage & Family Therapy, PLLC, a private practice that specializes in working with couples. She is the creator of the MetroRelationship philosophy and the Successful Couple Strategy that help couples succeed at their relationship and their life. To stay connected with her and receive weekly connection notes in your inbox with personal development and relationship enrichment insights and strategies, visit

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