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Diplomacy: The Art of Mediation

Diplomacy: The Art of Mediation

Lawsuits, disputes, etc. - we will have them for life. Resolving them quickly and moving on isn't so simple.

[Related: Become a Master Problem Solver]

The wrong-doer ALWAYS becomes the victim in their own mind. Instead of wisdom, they use the law of self preservation to attain results in a manner that often leads to disappointment.

Avoiding peacefully resolving a dispute with integrity can lead to all sorts of future issues. You do not want to create generational curses from doing others wrong or from compromising.

[Related: A Year-Round Guide to Self-Advocacy]

Here are a few simple steps to resolve conflict.

  1. Acknowledge the conflict.
  2. Do not allow it to control you or cause an outburst.
  3. Maintain control of your emotions.
  4. Write it down.
  5. Pray about it.
  6. Do not allow your energy to be eaten by trials and tribulations.
  7. Instead, command the resolution.
  8. If you are mediating: State exactly what it is that you are seeking, with calculations of the approximate damages from research and case studies or examples.
  9. Do not back down so easily. Do not allow a mediator to improperly end your mediation. (Not only is it unethical, but unprofessional.)
  10. Resolve the dispute, close it out IN CONFIDENCE. If you do not, it will become rumination and you will need therapy (whether that be ice cream or pie).

[Related: Nine Tips for Succeeding as a Woman in a Male-Dominated World]


Samantha Carter is an Executive of the City of Fort Lauderdale.

Have more questions? Follow up with the expert herself.