5 Ways Coaching Techniques Can Help Children
Coaching is typically characterized by asking questions — questions which will lead to self-reflection and self-discovery. The latter style can help children. Here's how coaching your child can help him or her in several ways:
When children are throwing a temper tantrum or are simply refusing to cooperate, asking questions to inquire about their feelings and interests in a calm yet curious manner diverts the attention from what was making them angry and frustrated in the first place. It will enable them to pause and take a break from their existing frame of mind and eventually calm them down.This may require a number of questions before the child finally stops crying, but it is well worth the effort.
Encourages self reflection and problem solving.
By asking children about what they want to do about a particular grievance while taking into account their interests and preferences, it helps them to think and reflect. Questions like 'How do you want to do this differently? What can make you happy ? How can we make this better?' will allow the children to stop them in their action right away and start thinking from different and fresh perspectives. What’s more, next time they are in a similar situation they might even learn to question themselves or others for solutions, in a similar fashion. Ever heard your child asking you innocently, ‘What do you like about this picture, mama?’ Well, that’s how they have seen you or their teacher asking them about different things they do. If there is one thing children are quick to learn it is habits they pick up from elders surrounding them, so be careful of what you want to pass on.
Boosts creative thinking.
Three days ago, I was coaching a child out of a nail biting habit and a question as simple as ‘What else can you do when you feel nervous other than reaching out for the nails?’ elicited a number of options which were quite impressive. The resourcefulness which children exhibit when you start questioning the with 'what else, what more, tell me two ways in which….‘ will surely surprise you. Of course, this kind of response cannot be expected straightaway. You need to establish a relationship of trust and credibility and for that to happen the children must believe that your are attentive and genuinely curious in what they are saying or showing you. Moreover, know when to stop. Children, especially younger ones under the age of 7, tend to be impatient by nature and if you keep questioning them again and again too may times, they might get bored or exhausted or, even worse, frustrated!
Empowers children hence building self confidence.
By asking children to come up with their own solutions, rather then providing them with yours, you are making them responsible as well as empowered. Sometimes children may need help and it would perhaps work better if you could prompt them with a few suggestions of your own to get them started. Eventually children learn to contribute their own ideas. You will then have to filter the workable ones by evaluating the pros and cons of each proposition presented so that they can learn to distinguish between the viable and not so viable ideas. This involvement from start to finish will in turn build their confidence. Do not forget to appreciate each good idea with lots of praise and encouragement, and avoid showing the slightest sign of disapproval, else you risk thwarting the entire process in a jiffy!
Promotes self esteem.
This will be a natural outcome of empowerment and self confidence. Once your children start resolving problems confidently and successfully, their self esteem will be on the rise. When they see you repeatedly being proud of them, doing positive talk and appreciating and supporting their solutions and their implementations, they will grow their esteem by ten folds.
Overall, coaching equips children with effective tools to make positive life changes, Even small changes in how a child thinks can have a huge impact in the long run. They work with you to overcome challenges by providing their own creative solutions. Empowered children are definitely more happy and relaxed, and who wouldn’t agree… a happy kid means a happier you!
Have more questions? Follow up with the expert herself.
Advancing Your Potential
Hira Ali is a Leadership Trainer, Motivational Speaker, Writer, Executive Career Coach & Licensed NLP Practitioner. She is the founder of Advancing Your Potential and Revitalize & Rise. Over the past decade she has had the privilege of training & coaching hundreds of people belonging to various professions, cadres, ethnicities and across a wide range of industries with a 98% above average rating review. From teachers to students, from corporates to police officials, from business owners to students,... Continue Reading
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