Should Leaders Make Resolutions?

To resolve or not to resolve: is that really the question? 

It’s certainly the question being posed by people at the beginning of the year. As a leader, are you asking it of yourself and of those you lead?

On the one hand, certain experts share their own “brand” of resolution, couched in different terms: intentions, promises, goals, visions. There are articles, books, podcasts and videos that will show you how to set resolutions that stick. You can find advice EVERYWHERE at this time of the year!

On the other hand, there are those who say that the New Year is an artifice, something created by human beings that really doesn’t exist, and therefore even seeing the New Year as a time for resolving to do something different is a waste of time.

Now that the madness has abated and the dust has settled, what do you do? Whose advice should you follow? Will you set resolutions, and if so, how will you realize them? Will you lead by example by fulfilling on your resolutions, or will you break them in the second week of the New Year? Or have you resolved NOT to resolve?

If you feel like using this period as the opportune time to let go of the old and create anew, do it. If you’d prefer to wait until the vernal equinox, when the world starts to wake up after its winter sleep, do it. If creating resolutions in August with the opening of the Lionsgate Portal feels like the right time for you to start afresh, do it then. If you're like me and you do it as a daily practice, continue.

[Related: 2017: Year of the Resolution Evolution]

Now, sometimes there are periods when the energy feels bigger than you, like the whole world is going through the same thing at the same time. This is true at the start of a new year. Personally, I like to ride these waves of mass consciousness. There is an exponential power that you can harness for your own goals, if you choose.

When you consider whether or not you intend to make resolutions, set intentions, create goals or whatever you choose to do to mark this period of moving into a new year, delve a little deeper and ask yourself this question:

What am I really trying to accomplish with my resolutions?

The answer lies in the root of the word resolution, which is the Latin word solvere. It means, "to loosen or release." For me, it’s the perfect word, and here’s why.

To create something new, you must first make space for it.

How do you accomplish this effectively? Well, it requires some internal excavation. Allow me to illustrate this through an example.

Let’s say your resolution for several years has been to adopt a healthier lifestyle. It's a pretty common one, right? In early January, you join a gym, limit high-calorie food intake, eat more vegetables, get more sleep, whatever you consider important to developing a healthier lifestyle. Things are going great.

And then, you hit a bump in the road. One new habit slips, and then the next, and then the next until you find yourself back where you started, but you haven’t radically overhauled your health as you had envisioned. 

Ask yourself again:

What is it that I really need to loosen and release?

It seems obvious on the surface. All these nasty habits that contribute to the growing expanse of your midriff need to be released, right? But dive a little deeper. What lies beneath the surface of these habits? What are you REALLY trying to accomplish by adopting a healthier lifestyle? Is it about health and how you feel, or is it something you think you SHOULD do? Are you out to attract admiration from other people for coming across as virtuous and fit?

Consider that you might be looking for love, but in all the wrong places.

Consider that, by seeking the approval of others, you deny yourself love and acceptance of who you are right now. When you set out to prove your self-worth to others, you’re really attempting to prove it to yourself. In the process of proving lies an undercurrent of not being good enough. Attached to this is shame, a highly destructive emotion.

I’ve used an example that resonates with most people from a personal experience, but can the same approach be applied to a business issue?

Absolutely!

Take a moment to look back on 2016, and ask yourself if you can recognize an area that, when improved, will enhance your leadership in a beneficial way. Perhaps it’s being more consistent with feedback and recognition to your team. Maybe it’s about getting better at reporting. It could be that you leave work earlier so you can spend time with the family.

In order to make that change, consider the underlying behavior. It will, 99.9% of the time, be a thought or a belief about the environment, the people, yourself and your relationship to your surroundings that dictates your behavior, and ultimately limits your ability to make the change you seek.

Whatever it is, acknowledge and accept it. This is always the first point of change.

Accepting yourself as you are or the situation as it is, right now, is fundamental to being able to fulfill on resolutions. You cannot manifest something new while you’re holding onto something that keeps you tied up in an internal conflict. Even with extraordinary willpower, the side you're trying to overcome very often wins in the end - unless you loosen and release the hold it has upon you.

Why does this prove difficult? Well, the holding mechanism is buried in the unconscious, and it's notoriously difficult for people to see their own blind spots. We're blind to them, after all!

This internal conflict and our inability to make lasting behavioral changes invokes shame. Shame is the real reason people avoid the whole process of setting and committing to resolutions. When shame is at the core of your experience, you meet enormous resistance, and your resolutions will last as long as your ability to fight the shame lasts. I give it a month at most.

So, ask yourself again:

What do I really need to loosen and release this year?

What difference will it make to my life experience?

Consider what life would be like if you stopped judging yourself or others? What might happen if you were able to accept yourself, unhealthy or unproductive habits and all? What would happen if you could recognize the learning that those less-than-desirable habits are offering you? What if you could embrace them fully?

I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but when you let go of the resistance to how your life is, you drop the conflict. This creates the space for your life as you'd like it to be to show up. You allow change to occur according to a natural rhythm rather than forcing it to happen. As a result, you make choices from a place of ease. You drop the oars and let the stream of your own life force carry you to your destination.

When you make choices from this place, rather than from a need to impress, please, dominate or limit, your manner takes on a new radiance. You exude magnetism. People will be attracted to you, and their attraction will have nothing to do with the size of your waist, your fitness regime or your dietary idiosyncrasies.

[Related: 6 Things to Start Doing Now to Ensure 2017 is Your Best Year Ever at Work]

Am I suggesting that you could, “Go with the flow," a little more this year? Yes, I am. When you stop fighting the current of life and allow yourself to be taken by it, a natural state of well-being emerges. It’s from this place that manifestation of your highest ideals is born. Peace of mind, ease and grace become a way of life. To cultivate this flow, you must commit to loosening and releasing the things that prevent this flow each time the resistance arises.

When you learn to care for yourself in this way, you are better able to care for others, and you inspire others to take care of themselves. You lift yourself and others out of co-dependency and into a state of interdependence, where freedom of choice becomes the basis of your relationship.

Ralph Nader once said, "The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers." Could this be a resolution for you this year? If so, what would you need to release to make it possible?

Your brilliance is not dependent upon dress size, income or talents. It’s based upon how you feel about yourself. Resolve to give yourself, and those you lead, the gift of brilliance this year by being a beacon of self-worth. 

How do you place a value on self-worth? You can't. It's priceless.

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Lori West is the Founder and Managing Director of The Brilliance Trailblazer, Ltd. To find out where you are on the AIP (agility, inclusivity, purposefulness) scale, take the test — click here to register. To find out how you can become a Brilliance™ Trailblazer, click here. To download a free copy of her eBook, Poised for Progress, click here.