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Violet Lange

Violet Lange

Introduce yourself to our audience. Tell us who you are and what you are currently focused on.

Hello! My name is Violet Lange and I am an expert on love, dating, and relationships. I help successful women find and keep the love, passion, and growth they desire and deserve by teaching them how to integrate their heart, mind, and body, and by helping them date and relate in a way that's empowered and effective. Our choice of partner is one of the biggest decisions we will ever make and I am devoted to helping women create healthy relationships and families.

Tell us about your favorite Ellevate Network memory or success story. Why are you a member?

I am a member because I believe in women connecting, collaborating, and coaching each other. In my experience women build relationships very differently than men and have different needs in their careers and professional lives. I've been a part of co-ed masterminds and female-centered masterminds and I always feel the difference when supported by other women. My favorite memory has been my squad experience where there's been a lot of overlap and connection between our group's needs, backgrounds, and goals.

How would you define your professional mission?

I am here to create a global revolution of love to end sexual, physical, and emotional abuse by creating healthy relationships and families. I help women learn to set healthy boundaries, create intimacy, develop emotional resiliency, and find and keep loving partnership which supports their career dreams and goals.

What qualities does it take for someone to be successful in your line of work?

Vision, empathy, compassion, humor, visibility.

What is one of your most memorable career accomplishments?

When I transitioned from business coaching to love coaching, I was worried I wouldn't be seen as credible (or be profitable). Within two years I grew my business from a "hobby" doing just $3,000 revenue a year to $750,000 revenue a year (and 40%+ margins) and we're still growing. We've had incredible growth and what's even more fulfilling, is we've also had incredible results such as clients who have gotten engaged in 6 months, after being single for 8 years. Every day I see women get into lasting relationships and be treated like a Queen even if they've survived sexual abuse, or gone through painful divorces, or haven't really ever had a happy relationship. Most of my clients meet their partner within just 6 months of working with me and we accomplish in weeks of my program what therapy couldn't do in years.

What are some career challenges on your radar?

I'm now in my second trimester and am learning to adapt how I run my company. I have a lot less energy, my brain is more fuzzy and foggy, and I feel like I'm growing two babies with my business and my pregnancy. I've hired more employees, and am learning to let them help me which has also meant slower growth in the short term but is preparing us for longer term stability and helping more women.

We’d love to hear more about your career path. What led you to where you are today?

I have had a VERY windy career path! I studied chemical engineering and entrepreneurial studies in undergrad, and went to work for General Mills in operations (and later in marketing) for 5 years. I started as an operations manager in a factory leading teams of union production employees, then moved to corporate to manage a network of manufacturing plants. I left operations to go into marketing so I could be closer to the customer experience and realized I wanted to pursue my MBA. I went to Harvard Business School, where I decided not to return to the Fortune 500 world and instead did management consulting in NYC for Boston Consulting Group. Intellectually it was satisfying but my heart called me to go into non-profit work for a bit, as the special advisor to the CEO for an international non-profit called Right to Play. After my one year fellowship there was up, I moved to California to lead the retail department and later the educational / teacher-training department for YogaWorks. While there, I became a yoga teacher, Reiki master, and coach. My coaching path evolved from business coaching to love and relationship coaching as I was healing my own sexual abuse and learning how to date effectively, which led to me meeting my husband Jason who is also a men's work coach.

What is the most rewarding part of your job?

There are so many rewarding parts of my job! Primarily seeing women who thought they were unloveable, or loved only for what they accomplished, receive healthy and lasting commitment by changing their dating and relationship skill set. It's so fulfilling to see women who are totally out of touch with their feminine energy, or their heart energy, blossom into the radiant Queen that they are and attract their soulmate. I met my husband in a dream three weeks before we met in real life, and many of my clients have incredible, spiritual, synchronistic stories about how they met their partner because of the work they did with me. Most of my clients meet their partner within 6 months of starting to work with me.

What legacy do you hope to leave through your work?

Eradicating sexual and other forms of abuse through creating healthy relationships and healthy families, and empowering women to both be healthy partners and choose healthy partners. I want to eliminate #metoo by focusing on #wetoo and involving men and women to change the dialogue through my husband's work and my work together and collaborating with others.

What is it about your job that makes you feel it’s the right fit for you?

I feel like this is what I was born to do. Everything I've experienced is something I've learned from that I share with my clients, from my dysfunctional upbringing to my divorce from my first husband, from my decade of unsuccessful dating to all the work I've done to reclaim my feminine energy after working in very masculine environments. My engineering degree helps me see inputs, outputs, and systems so my program is highly effective in a very short amount of time. My MBA has helped us grow to $750k in just two years. And my heart sings every time a get a message from a client that she's engaged or pregnant because of her decision to join my program -- I get to see other women's dreams come true.

Who are your role models?

Oprah of course, as well as Michelle Obama, Beyonce, Ariana Huffington, Mama Gena, and other successful female entrepreneurs.

What is your morning ritual?

Before I get out of bed I put one hand on my heart and one on my belly and find a word and a color to "define" my day and set my intention. It might be love, pleasure, forgiveness, power, etc. When I get out of bed I make hot water with lemon and sip it as I read and say outloud my affirmations for my business and my clients and my life (including my pregnancy). Then I write my gratitude list, meditate, and listen to binural beats as I make my celery juice (obsessed). After that I review my to-do list, check in with my employees, and do about an hour of work (ideally the most important not urgent but sometimes the urgent slips in there too :)). Mid morning I walk my dog and listen to sales calls from my team and coaches to make sure we're providing the highest quality services and experiences. And of course there are days where my husband and I make love and I sleep in a little and I do this routine later in the day or not at all. I'm human lol.

What is your favorite social media site? Why?

I love Facebook and Pinterest. I believe Facebook (just like dating apps) is an algorithm and you get what you put attention on. So a long time ago I decided that I would only focus on what's full of love and what's empowering for women when I use that app...and so it's adjusted to meet that intention and I love connecting with new people, new ideas, and new ways to view myself and the world. I find it very uplifting. I love Pinterest because it's been so fun as we're preparing for baby. I also love to use Pinterest because I use their boards with my clients to create their unique feminine archetypes and avatars.

What would you say your personal superpower is?

Transmuting pain into pleasure and trauma into power for myself and others, plus synthesizing spiritual and practical information for rapid transformation. Most of my clients not only find their partner but also make more money and create more with their lives because of the work we do together (I've had clients write children's books, start non-profits, get promoted etc within weeks of joining my program).

What does success look like to you?

Staying attuned to self and other while following my heart and guidance to make a massive difference in the world through love.

Is work-life balance a problem for you? What is one no-fail tactic you use to create balance?

Haha, I would like to say it's not a problem because what I teach is all about pleasure and feeling good and being in a flow state. But I am "addicted" to my work because it's so fulfilling to me. I've recently had to create new structures to keep me from working all the time, such as 30 minute no-phone-zone with my husband every evening where we focus on connecting with each other, weekly scheduled massages in my house on Thursday evenings to decompress from my week, and date nights and other get-aways to fill my cup. My "no-fail" tactic is to ask myself "to-do list aside, what do I really NEED today?" and sometimes the answer is rest, sometimes nature, sometimes time with friends, sometimes kicking butt and creating some incredible new content for my clients. It varies. But I try to not let my to-do list guide me as much as my inner voice and connection to God/Spirit.

What advice would you offer future leading ladies wishing to break into your industry?

Don't get caught in content marketing / blogging all the time without a viable business model. If you want to be a successful coach or consultant you have to have a DEPENDABLE way to get clients not just "hope they find me because I wrote a bunch of blogs". Invest in a business mentor who will help you set up a funnel and paid advertising so you can scale.

What is the best career advice you ever received?

Don't take advice from someone you wouldn't switch places with -- including ALL areas of their life. If they give great work advice but they have horrible health, think twice about it etc.

Have more questions? Follow up with the expert herself.

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